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I'm Adam Scott Campbell. I'm a 40-year-old survivor of a recurring brain tumor and author of poetry and fiction, and I have an Angel with me. Walking With My Angel is my second book of poems. It shares a series of deep, intent poetic letters to and from a Heavenly Angel. I think it's helpful to know how an Angel came to save me. You too have an angel with you, one who will help you and give you needed, added strength.
We lost my brother at three months old. My father wrote a poem to him so heartfelt it stirred a desire in me to write, too.
The day my brother died, I looked at his little, lifeless body lying on my parents’ bed. I was only five at the time. But I understood that my baby brother was dead. Having a child’s faith that anything was possible and thinking that it was an older brother’s responsibility to protect his baby brother, I took the weight of his death onto my shoulders. I carried that burden, subconsciously, for the next twenty years.
When eight, I started having bouts of anger, lashing out at my parents and siblings. My parents tell me my behavior was uncharacteristic of me… alarming to them. Until then I had been a very happy, loving child.
One day after turning nine, I was playing helicopter with my brother and sister. Spinning around on our tiptoes, we all kept at it until we’d get dizzy and fall over. I spun around, got dizzy, fell over, hit my head and was knocked unconscious. Dad was able to rouse me quickly, but taking no chances, he took me to the E.R.
Doctors scanned my head for possible damage. The CT scan revealed no damage to my brain or head, but the radiologist told my father there was something he needed to see. He showed him a scan of someone else’s brain, one he said was normal. Then, he showed the scan of my brain. My blood ventricles were four times bigger than normal. Looking for the reason, an MRI followed, showing that a brain tumor was blocking blood flow.
Brain surgery was scheduled, performed, and my tumor removed. Surgery destroyed my equilibrium, and I had to relearn how to walk again. I developed double vision. I still have it despite three eye surgeries. I was unable to reach puberty naturally moving into adolescence. The tumor disrupted brain chemicals needed for normal growth. I took medications every day while growing up. Medication was taken by mouth, and by self-administered injections.
In tenth grade I started having blinding, debilitating migraines. The tumor had returned. Again, surgery was performed, and I lost my equilibrium. I relearned to walk a second time. Brain surgery was followed by radiation treatments six day a week for six weeks. I slept twenty hours a day during that time.
Some years later, I suffered morning paralysis for a number of days. I had bleeding on the brain. Some scar tissue from my brain surgeries had broken off, and blood was trickling down my spine. Over time, the bleeding eased, the paralysis stopped.
I struggled with my condition, but one day I learned I'd never struggled alone. On my hardest day, my Angel came.
My book of poems recalls the arrival, acceptance and love of my Angel. They are songs of hope. Words of wisdom given. Moments of joy. More than anything, grateful praise to the one who saved me.
We all have one with us. I wish my poems to open all eyes to see that Angels are with us. Seeing and being embraced by my Angel gave me courage, strength, and a better purpose. To write from a changing heart.
To write, for you.
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