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D. M. Almond is a gnarly crusty dude with a mop on top...no wait, that's Pauly Shore. David would love to tell you his life story, which you have undoubtedly come here to learn (hence the About Page click), but a recent parallel parking incident with his M-class Star Jumper has left him with a bad case of amnesia. He has spent the past year tracking down the truth of who he is and why he is here, much like most of us, using the only clues left behind after the accident; a black comb with the word Barbarino etched on it, a half full bottle of Lakewood Port, the scrumptious remains of a Corner Bakery cinnamon roll, and an external hard drive with the initials FU. All but the latter have proved useful in his quest and he welcomes any insight you might be able to provide into the whereabouts of his mind.
David lives in Buffalo, NY the best city this side of My Hammy and would love to hear from you!
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