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I'm a UK-based author currently lurking around the streets of Cardiff. I enjoy scaring people just as much as I enjoy making them laugh, so I try to get both into my work. I'm a horror movie nerd, a dungeon master, a comic book obsessive and a cryptid enthusiast. I like strong beer and smooth whiskey - please bear this in mind when making your offerings. HWA member.
Here are some words of wisdom that my mother shared with me when I was growing up:
1. The currents in rivers are just the same as the currents in buns. You can purchase some if you have a current account.
2. If you unscrew your belly-button, your bum will fall off.
3. You can do a passable impersonation of an elephant by waving your arm about in front of your face and shouting "Give us a bun! Give us a bun!"
I hope you find them as useful as I did.
Find me on Twitter @HorlockWarlock
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