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I'm a husband, a lawyer, an expert roto-rooter, and can screw in most lightbulbs on my first attempt (righty-tighty, lefty-loosey). I won 1st place in the Participation Trophy Contest and recently had to put down my slightly used Toyota Corolla (rest in pieces, Silver Fox). I live in Texas, and my yard was recently nominated for best-dead-lawn. I also write books. For more about me visit sashaffer.com.
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