I am a creator. A creator of stories, amongst other things like handmade cards. I love writing. I have always loved writing. It has served me well over the years, as an escape – much like reading a book. As an outlet, when I’ve been hurt and as a confidant (that doesn’t interrupt or talk back) when I’ve been muddling through something. It has allowed me to touch the lives of others and if only for a moment, lift their spirits as if my words have wrapped them in a warm hug.
A couple of years ago I jumped off the deep end and published a few books. I did that whole sink or swim method and while yes, I did actually learn to swim by Dad tossing me in the pond, I nearly drown under the pressure of a multi-author series. It was a painful experience that I’d love to say I regret, but I don’t. I learned a lot from it and the readers warmed my battered heart with their own words and support. Without that, I’m pretty sure I’d keep all future works hidden and never brave the public with my words again.
The thing is, even when I’m not, I want to be brave. Even when I’m down, I want to lift someone else up. Even when I’m failing – arms flying, feet frantically kicking, and gasping for air – I want to rise up and try again. I’m not some famous author. I don’t have a cool college degree. I simply have a love for the written word. I love spellcheck, and Grammarly, and sometimes I think run-on sentences are my BFF and I should name them. I’m not perfect. Perfection is a fool’s errand, though I often chase it. Which leads to fear and that’s a whole new can of worms. I make mistakes, big and small. Hell, I even cuss a little.
Still, I am an author. With every letter I pin, every blog I post, and every story I write I become better. I grow as an author. One of the things I’ve longed to do as an author and failed miserably at is to build a community. A community of authenticity, where I don’t have to pretend to be someone or something I’m not. One of love and laughter, of support and sarcasm laced with alcohol flavored coffee within my solitary world.
I am looking to wipe the slate, to start fresh – if at all possible. A new year is approaching and I want to accomplish something, to become better and to grow. I long to build a stronger connection with those who choose to journey along beside me; cheering, laughing, and sometimes spitting coffee.
I think the saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, do it like your Mother told you” but there is also that one that says, “Try and try again.” I am trying again for I will never stop being a creator. This leaves me to believe there is a fulfilling purpose in this journey and as long as I am willing to get up every day and try again, I just might find it.
Oh, but you wanted to know something about me besides the fact that I’m a creator and an author, correct? Well, let me break it down: daughter, sister, wife, mother, pet owner, aunt, friend, coffee addict, book lover, OCD, depression, anxiety, horrible back, crafty, country music all the way, bluntly honest, empath with a misplaced filter, hoarder of pens, pajamas all day,
And lastly, Jesus has my back and martini’s rock.
So, wanna be friends?
IG: https://www.instagram.com/tonyavanwinkle/
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