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  • How to Be a Footballer

  • Written by: Peter Crouch
  • Narrated by: Peter Crouch
  • Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (13 ratings)

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How to Be a Footballer

Written by: Peter Crouch
Narrated by: Peter Crouch
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Publisher's Summary

**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**

**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**

**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

©2018 Peter Crouch (P)2018 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

What listeners say about How to Be a Footballer

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Funny,memorable, Cro-ouchy & very UnRobotic ;)

Such a good book. I haven't seen many Crouch interviews and thanks to this book just started his podcast. Very direct funny at himself and others and really calls footballers out for the overpaid, overgrown kids that they are.

However , it also points out that any of us would probably do the same. Really loved this book and wish more celebs were so cool and down to earth

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Amazing!!

Enjoyed every minute of it. Really Funny at times. Definitely a great book even if you're not a football fan.

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