Deadly Traps for Teens

Written by: Dennis and Barbara Rainey
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  • Summary

  • We parented 6 teens through adolescence spanning 3 decades (4 were teenagers at the same time) Our experience and study of the Scriptures convinced us of one very important thing: As parents we needed to know and anticipate the various kinds of traps that were being set for our children. This series of podcasts addresses The Deadly Traps for Teens. In the future we’ll feature two additional series addressing additional traps.
    © Dennis and Barbara Rainey
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Children's Audiobooks Ministry & Evangelism Parenting Relationships Spirituality
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Episodes
  • What Are the Deadly Traps?

    What Are the Deadly Traps?
    Nov 3 2019
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Deadly Traps of AdolescenceDay 1 of 10 Guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: What are the Deadly Traps?______________________________________________________________ Bob: The road along which a teenager travels has traps on either side. Teenager: Dad? Dad? Slow down. I can't see. Well, I know you can. Dad, are you sure this blindfold doesn't come off? What traps? Huh? Where? Hey, Dad, I'm going to let go for a second. I'll be okay, don't worry. I'm just going right over here. See? See, I'm fine. There, see? Nothing happened. There weren't any traps. Huh? Where am I going? Just out. Dad, I know, I still have the blindfold on, and you've been down this – I know, I know – bye. (footsteps and then teenager yells) Dad? Bob: Ouch. This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, July 9th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. The road to adolescence is paved with deadly traps. Stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Monday edition, and there you have it. You heard the sound of another teenager in the snare. Dennis: Yeah, and did you hear that cry – "Hey, Dad." Have you ever done that? Bob: I've been off in some of those snares as I wandered my way through adolescence. Dennis: That's right, and I've cried out, and sometimes I've been too far away from home, Bob, yeah, and it's a serious matter, though. We're laughing about it – these snares that are in existence today for teenagers are all too real and all too dangerous. Bob: We're going to be talking this week about some of the deadlier snares that are laid for our teenagers in our culture today, and this is material that comes out of a book that you and your wife, Barbara, have written recently. In fact, Barbara is in the studio with us. Hi, Barbara. Barbara: Hi, Bob. Bob: The name of the book is … Dennis: … oh, no, you've got to do more than that, Bob. I mean, she is denying all types of motherly and wifely duties to be in here, and I just feel like (applauds). Bob: That's right. We're glad you're along, our listeners are glad you're along … … good … Dennis: … yeah, back by popular demand. You know, we were having dinner last night with a couple and they said, "You know, we really like it when Barbara is on the broadcast." Bob: And I really appreciate, too, and I know Barbara does, that you have offered, Dennis, to do a lot of the laundry and a lot of the dishes as a result of Barbara … Barbara: … yeah, dinner is the big thing. Dennis: I don't remember that. [laughter] Bob: We're going to be talking about things that come out of a book that the two of you have recently written. It's entitled, "Parenting Today's Adolescent," and remind us of what are the big concepts that parents need to be aware of as we go through the process of raising our children. Dennis: Well, the book is really built around three underlying assumptions, and the first one is so important. In fact, over the next few days the listeners are going to hear us over and over again pound the table about being relationally involved in our children's lives – not merely being at their events, not just going with them but having our hearts connected soul-to-soul. Bob: Barbara, if you don't have the relationship in place, you're really headed for some turbulent waters as you head into adolescence, aren't you? Barbara: Yeah, because it's so easy for our teenagers to get involved in myriads of activities – just thing after thing after thing, and they're after school at practices, and they're going to ball games at night, and they're getting up early to do things, and you just don't see them anymore, and unless you've got connecting points, unless you're pursuing that teenager and asking questions constantly – where are you going? What are you doing? What's happening in your life? Who are you hanging out with? and pursuing that child to get to know that child and stay after it, you're going to end up going your separate ways. Dennis: Yeah, in fact, last night Barbara and I were both up late with a teenager on our bed, and it was fascinating, because we were having a discussion around one of these traps that gets an adolescent. It's the trap of deceit. And our daughter was ...
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    26 mins
  • Peer Pressure

    Peer Pressure
    Nov 3 2019
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Deadly Traps of AdolescenceDay 2 of 10 Guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: Peer Pressure Bob: And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. It's Tuesday, July 10th, and we thought we'd do something a little different today – we're broadcasting from outdoors here on the Montana prairie. Dennis: It's beautiful out here, isn't it? Bob: It is beautiful. Dennis: Big Sky Country – man, the grass is so green and fresh, wow. Bob: The wind is kind of warm. (rumbling noise) Dennis: What's that? What is that, Bob? Did you hear that? Bob: I do hear that. Dennis: Bob, the ground's shaking. Bob: There's a little bit of a … Dennis: … feel it? Bob: Uh-huh, it's coming. Look over on the – on the horizon! Dennis: Bob, it's a bunch of them. Bob: It's … Both: The herd! Dennis: That was kind of fun – we survived the buffalo stampede here. Bob: I'm not sure we'll survive the teenage stampede. Dennis: Oh, man. Barbara: It lasts a little longer. Dennis: It sure does. Bob: We are talking this week on the broadcast about some of the traps that are laid for teenagers, some of the deadlier traps that are laid for young people as they go through the teenage years, and one of the traps that they face is the trap of the herd, it's the trap of peer pressure, Dennis. Dennis: You know, Jeremiah, chapter 5, verse 26 says, "Among my people are wicked men who lie in wait like men who snare birds and those who set traps to catch men." That's peers – evil peer pressure can snare our children and can ruin their lives. Bob: You know, Barbara, everywhere you look and listen and read and watch, you hear about peer pressure and its influence, and yet it's almost like we've heard so much about it that we've forgotten that it's real, and we're not sure how to define it or what to do with it. From a mom's standpoint, practically, what are the issues around peer pressure that are real issues for our families? Barbara: To me the big issue for peer pressure is for mom and dad to stay involved. You need to know who the kids are that your child is hanging out with, who their friends are, and you need to be watching how those friends of your child are beginning to change, because all of our kids, as they move from elementary school in those early years of when they still like Mom and Dad. But they move into junior high, all of our kids are going to change in some way or another, and we can't assume, as parents, that the kids that our children have been friends with since kindergarten, first grade, second grade, are still going to be the same kind of influence, the same kind of child, in junior high and high school that our child is going to be. We can't assume that they're going to have the same value system, the same convictions, the same beliefs. We've seen it with all of our kids that some of the children that they've grown up with have taken a different fork in the road in junior high and that friendship changes, and if parents assume that those kids are going to just be the same kids, then we get blindsided. Dennis: You know, in that passage I read in Jeremiah, chapter 5, it says "among my people are evil men." The most dangerous form of peer pressure will not come from the non-Christian audience. It will come from the youth group, from children who have been on the right path until they hit 13 or 15 and, all of a sudden, they steer down the wrong path, and they begin to take a group with them. In fact, there is a larger group in most youth groups heading down that path than there is down the path to righteousness and following Jesus Christ and, as parents, Barbara and I have spent a great deal of time being very careful analyzing who are our children hanging out with? What's their spiritual condition? Where are they headed – constantly monitoring who our children's friends are. Bob: The bad kids are kind of obvious, even to our teenagers. It's the good kids who are starting to dabble in some bad things that can be the ones who pull our kids off into the ditch with them. Dennis: Exactly, and it's important for our children to know when it's okay to run with the herd and what kind of herd they can run with and when it's ...
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    23 mins
  • Sex - Part 1

    Sex - Part 1
    Nov 3 2019
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Deadly Traps of Adolescence Day 3 of 10 Guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: Sex________________________________________________________________ Bob: If you're a parent, have you challenged your son or your daughter to wait until marriage to become sexually active? Barbara Rainey says maybe you haven't given enough of a challenge. Barbara: We've realized with our kids that the standard of maintaining their virginity is not enough, because when a young girl and a young boy get together, and they decide they like each other, and they begin holding hands and hugging and kissing and other things, what's happening is they're damaging their purity; they're losing their innocence. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, July 11th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. As parents, how can we challenge our teenagers to a high standard of moral purity? We'll talk about that today. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. This week we are spending some time looking at the traps that have been set for our teenagers throughout our culture and what we can do as parents to help steer our children around these traps so that they don't become ensnared. And what we're talking about comes from a book by Dennis and Barbara Rainey called "Parenting Today's Adolescent," and Barbara joins us in the studio today. Hi, Barbara, nice to have you back with us. Barbara: Thanks, Bob. Bob: Dennis, these traps that face our teenagers can be invisible to us, as parents, but they can also be deadly to our kids. Dennis: They can, in fact, I think that's why much of the scripture is warning us about snares and traps. There are more than 50 references in the Old Testament and New Testament to avoiding the snare of the enemy, or the trap of the evil person, and over in Proverbs, chapter 7, there's the warning against the adulteress, and although it's talking about a married man, I think it relates to our teenagers as we help them navigate the dangers of all the traps set before them. It's speaking of the adulteress here in verse 21, "With persuasive words, she led him astray. She seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once, he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose, 'til an arrow pierces his liver like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life." Then Solomon says, "Now, then, my sons, listen up, listen to me, pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her path." Why? Because there's a snare there – there's a trap there, and it may cost you your soul. It may destroy your life. And, Bob, I think, as parents, we need to assume the responsibility that Solomon was with his son when he penned this book and sought to instruct his son in the way of righteousness. We need to help our children isolate and determine what those snares are, where the traps are being laid, and then help them understand how it happens, and he described the harlot here of persuading the young man with her words and then with her eyes, and he explained to his son how it all happened, and, you know, that's a picture of how we, as parents, are to help our children around these traps. Bob: And, Barbara, the trap that Dennis has illustrated from the scriptures for us is the one that we're going to be spending time with today and tomorrow – it's the trap of illicit or premarital sexual relations, and whether it's a young lady who is subtly enticing our sons to be sexually involved with her, or a young man who is putting pressure on our daughters to be sexually involved with him, our kids are undoubtedly going to experience, going to face this temptation, this snare, of how involved they're going to be with a member of the opposite sex. Barbara: And it starts earlier than many of us would ever expect, and that's what I think catches us, as parents, off guard, is that it begins in junior high, and our kids, our girls and our boys, our sons, are faced with this temptation very early on by children who are more grown up, who are raised in a more promiscuous background than we were, who have been exposed to more things in the sexual area than our children have been, and our kids are exposed to that, and they need to know what to do, they need to know what their standards are, they need to know how to make a decision about it. Dennis: One of the reasons why we have come up with this material, ...
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    22 mins

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