Vampires suck. And thank goodness they do.

Complicated creatures full of flaws: no mirrors means bad hair days. Fangs make dentist visits tough. And they can’t eat stake.

But today's vampires have plenty to love: immortality, shape shifting, badassery and power. More often than not, they’re totally sexy.

Think snake-necklaced Salma Hayek. Long-locked, pastel-suited Gary Oldman. Kate Beckinsale cling-wrapped for your pleather.

But talk about a glow-up! Before Bram Stoker’s Dracula, stories and folktales showed vampires as stinking, filthy, peasants (no class judgment here – vampires just had these qualities). They came from the smallest villages, in the most rural communities.

How, in 500 years, did vampires transition from The Stinking Vampyr of Pentsch, to sparkle-chested Edward “I only eat woodland creatures” Cullen?

Well, immortality leaves plenty of time for a glow up.

Today: The real history of vampires. Or, the history of Real Vampires.

Let’s Get Shocked.

RESOURCES

• Vampires in the Sefer Hasidim: https://www.torahmusings.com/2011/10/vampires-and-witches-in-sefer-hasidim/
• Estries in the Sefer Hasidim: https://templeofmiriam.com/blog/sefer-hasidim-alukah-and-estries?srsltid=AfmBOoqUuIm990DKfyPMeleYKIhD-zsrkB_FX9akdWHyZlxnx5L6eq2A

Johannes Cuntius

• https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/sk53s8NGr6znMccN8xpSNM/nine-fangtastic-facts-about-european-vampire-literature
• https://occult-world.com/cuntius-johannes-pentsch-vampire/

JIANGSHI (Chinese Hopping Vampire) CLIPS

Encounters of the Spooky Kind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTD9cVr2naM

Mr. Vampire II: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt8nC4rRc0U

Mr. Vampire IV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ASFhUsFOio

Henry More: An Antidote Against Atheism

• https://archive.org/details/antidoteagainsta00more/mode/2up

A little stocking stuffer for you Shockers - some outtakes from our recent episode on Vampires.

We'll be back with our next full episode on January 16, 2025, diving into the story of the wealthiest man ever to live: Mansa Musa, King of 14th Century Mali!

Who’s got two swords and went from poor fisher woman to pirate Queen in less than a decade?

Today, Zing ‘N’ Jolts set sail for the early 1800s to track the facts on a woman who truly defied the patriarchal society of her birth. For young girls growing up in a poor fish village, there were two options: stay where you are, or sex work as a means of upward mobility (err…horizontal mobility?).

Today’s heroine took the second option, and boy did she use it to jump the ranks. Becoming internationally renowned for her efforts above a Flower Boat, she seduced a pirate king and – when he died – took over the biggest pirate armada to ever sail.

Today: Booty & Junk: The Life and Crimes of Zheng Yi Sao. Let’s get shocked!

Resources

• Mr. Glasspoole and the Chinese Pirates https://collections.britishart.yale.edu/catalog/orbis:810058

• Pirates of the South China Coast, 1790 – 1810, by Dian H. Murray

• A narrative of the captivity and sufferings of John Turner ... among the Ladrones or pirates, on the coast of China showing the manners and customs of the natives ... in the year 1807