Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories

What would it take to lure a serious young newswoman from a respectable New England paper to the most notorious supermarket tabloid in America? The call of journalistic adventure? How about a promise of a salary that's triple what she's making? En route to her new job at the Weekly Galaxy, Sara Joslyn stumbles across a bloody corpse in a Buick Riviera. A big story? Not at this paper. The problem is compounded when the dead man vanishes, Buick and all.

Sick of working your way to the top? America's most popular humorist, Dave Barry, shows you the alternate route, giving you tools to become the head of a major corporation in roughly a week. His surefire tips, from what shirt to wear to how to deal with pesky subordinates, will keep you laughing all the way up the corporate ladder.

Ever miss a prime opportunity for a snappy comeback or a perfect putdown? We all have, kicking ourselves later when we think of what we could have said. The well-aimed insult was never in better shape than when Shakespeare mastered the art of defining dramatic conflict with rapier wit rather than swordplay.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

Here is the absolute best of Dave Barry; selections from four of his most popular books, including the hilarious Guide to Guys. Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe....

The Greatest Mysteries of All Time, Volume 6 is an exciting addition to this series, featuring the most acclaimed writers, past and present. This unique collection of master writers, including Wilkie Collins, Aldous Huxley, and Edith Wharton, edited by multi-award winning mystery connoisseur Otto Penzler, is a delightful mixture of mystery and suspense.

When Dave Barry writes funny, you write back. And when you write funny, Dave Barry talks back! Pulitzer Prize-winning author and columnist Dave Barry gets more response from readers than any other writer in the United States. And now the absolute best of Dave Barry is available, complete with those items sent in by Dave's legion of Alert Readers all across the country. But Dave Barry doesn't only talk back to readers. He talks back to traffic cops, dentists, doctors, Congress, and his very dumb dogs.

If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen’s Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories—large and small—that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction.

The young street urchin Hissune gets his due for helping Lord Valentine regain his throne. As a reward, he is sent into the depths of the Labyrinth, a massive library of memory cubes in which the entire history of Majipoor is preserved. As Hissune prepares for a summons to return to Castle Mount, he relives the lives of Majipoor's most famous and notorious inhabitants.

This second volume of Orson Scott Card's five-volume anthology of short stories features seven tales exploring possible future scenarios for the human race. A fascistic government's capital punishment extends beyond death. Intellectually superior aliens from a doomed world choose Earth's dogs as their new vessels. Not-quite-human beings on an Earth wasted by biological warfare continously fight an enemy which has long been annihilated.

Bad Dogs Have More Fun is an unforgettable collection of more that 75 newspaper columns by John Grogan, the number-one New York Times best-selling author of Marley & Me. Combining humor, wit, poignancy and affection, these columns provide insight into the intriguing and wonderful world we live in.

Dave Barry didn't know what he was letting himself in for when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."Now John Ritter and Arte Johnson present for you the songs that Americans love to hate. There is Gary Puckett and the Union Gap Band's "Young Girl" ("Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line..."), which is not to be confused with "Woman", and "This Girl Is a Woman Now"....

In this sweeping, threaded narrative of the global phenomenon known as the Vampire Wars, mankind is unwittingly infected by a millennia-old bacteria unknowingly exhumed by a scientific expedition in Antarctica. Now, in some rare cases, a person’s so-called junk DNA becomes activated. Depending on their racial and ethnic heritage, they begin to manifest one of the many diverse forms of the "others" that are the true basis for the legends of supernatural creatures. These aren’t your usual vampires and werewolves - it goes much deeper than that.

Arriving home at dawn after another failed burglary, John Dortmunder—the anti-hero of Donald Westlake's popular comic crime series—is shocked to find his apartment occupied by a notorious cellmate everyone had supposed (and hoped) had been jailed for life.

Prepare to be entertained by a host of Hollywood celebrities reading the finest collection of short mystery stories surrounding the world of entertainment.

For nearly 30 years, Paul Dickson's Toasts has been the the perfect reference for any occasion where one needs to raise a glass. Organized by category, it contains sayings famous and profound, suitable and sentimental. Covering births, weddings, graduations, and other events both major and minor, Dickson also provides a history of the toast, and a guide on how to do it well. Revised for the first time since 1991, this new audio edition of Toasts is as useful as ever.

Today, as the years have passed, readers and listeners have become increasingly passionate about Russell Baker's writing, addicted to his columns and fanatic in their admiration of him. Here is the best of the best of Russell Baker, arranged into a dozen different themes that give us a view of American life at once wise and most amusing.

In More of the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, Ross and Kathryn Petras continue their connoisseur's compendium of awkward utterances, slips of the tongue, doubletalk, and just plain stupid statements from politicians, celebrities, sports figures, social leaders and average joes.

Murder in a Distant Land the stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists of plot - set in the four corner of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!

This collection of short stories displays Ed Gorman's talents as a masterful storyteller across a range of genres.

A mysterious and beautiful girl who teaches arrogant young men about true love, a lonely traveling salesman who learns that his passenger is Death, children who can absorb the psychic pain of their parents, a desperately pursued serial killer who hides his face under gauze in a hospital room, and a woman who loves the alien infant nobody else wants - these stories and 10 others make up this collection by award-winning author Ed Gorman. Here are stories that led him to be called "one of the best" by Dean Koontz and "one of the most original writers in crime fiction today" by Kirkus Reviews. Here, you'll find the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award.

Included in Different Kinds of Dead, and Other Tales are "Different Kinds of Dead", "Deathman", "A Girl Like You", "Loverboy", "Muse", "Riff", "The Brasher Girl", "Survival", "Masque", "Second Most Popular", and others.

This collection reveals the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award. His protagonists, gritty and gruff, are strangely likable, and his writing, according to Mystery News, is "powerful, disturbing, [and] often poetic".