Episodes

  • Understanding the Role of Shame in the Midlife Crisis

    Understanding the Role of Shame in the Midlife Crisis
    Nov 20 2024
    Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis. This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of shame and about how and why it may negatively impact men in midlife. Rob explains how shame contributes heavily to the feeling of unworthiness that many midlife men report, resulting in an emotional crisis of behaviour and mental wellbeing. Shame plays a central role in shaping our behaviours, relationships, and sense of worth, and left uncontained, the self judgement and criticism that can result from this can be extremely harmful. The need to understand and address shame to mitigate its impact on mental health and behaviour is therefore incredibly important. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-shame-midlife-crisis I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    48 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess

    Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess
    Nov 13 2024
    Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, who shares his journey of rediscovering purpose and meaning while navigating self-doubt, and explains how speaking with others on his podcast has broadened his understanding of what it means to embrace change. Simon reflects on how conversations with others have highlighted common themes, including the role of intuition, self-awareness, and the courage to make transformative life changes. He talks about how these individuals have often found meaning by stepping beyond self-limiting beliefs and embracing uncertainty but how, for him, the process of change is ongoing and challenging. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-simon-burgess I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    47 mins
  • The Impact of Stress: How to Recognise, Manage and Prevent Burnout

    The Impact of Stress: How to Recognise, Manage and Prevent Burnout
    Nov 6 2024
    Long-term exposure to chronic stress can reduce life expectancy by anything from two to twenty years. It is estimated that one in nine UK adults feels stressed every single day, while three-quarters have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope at some point in the past year. This week Paul talks to stress expert Katie Maycock about the harsh realities of burnout and the impact it can have on the physical and mental health of midlife men. Katie takes Paul through the six stages of burnout, revealing how seemingly small behaviours can escalate rapidly from heightened productivity to full physical, mental and emotional shutdown. As well as sharing her own uniquely personal experiences, Katie also shares her proven three-pillar approach to building resilience and, for those beginning to feel the weight of burnout, Katie provides practical tips for daily self-awareness and simple, impactful routines to break the cycle before it escalates. This is a must-listen show for anyone seeking actionable strategies to manage stress, boost resilience, and improve overall wellbeing. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-stress-anxiety-burnout I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Why Don't Midlife Men Get The Help They Need?

    Why Don't Midlife Men Get The Help They Need?
    Oct 30 2024
    Many midlife men struggle with emotional pressures, feeling frustrated, lonely, stressed and lost. And they often feel unheard, reluctant or unable to speak up for fear of ridicule or rejection. But when it comes to self-help, there is a question that looms large: is there a lack of information for midlife men, or is it that they’re not interested in accessing it? In a bid to answer this discussion, Alice Kearney conducted research into what resources are available for midlife men and into what men’s feelings are about the topic. The results seemed to highlight that there’s a lack of interest in seeking help until such point as there is no other option. This is in contrast to women, who actively seek support. The research also highlighted a lack of midlife role models for men, a dearth of online communities despite an apparent willingness to embrace these, and the need for more information and support tailored to midlife men. Could it be that addressing this gap could help men better navigate midlife challenges before they reach breaking point? You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-why-men-help-themselves I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    47 mins
  • How to Live a Soft Life

    How to Live a Soft Life
    Oct 23 2024
    A couple of years ago a trend called ‘the soft life’ started to emerge on the internet. But unlike most other internet trends, this one has particular relevance to midlife men, focusing as it does on emotional wellbeing and self-care. A strong advocate for the soft life is Dr Sarah Nicholls, an A&E doctor, burnout coach and YouTuber who embraced this way of living after experiencing her own spell of burnout. This week Paul talks to Sarah about living a life that reduces stress and instead priorities mental wellbeing, ease and personal fulfilment. Sarah explains how adopting a soft life helped her manage anxiety and insomnia, and allows her to navigate stressful situations more calmly and productively. She talks about the value of making time for oneself and practising self-compassion, and about how adopting small daily habits can make a significant difference over time. The conversation also addresses the need to recognise and address chronic stress, which can lead to a loss of identity and joy. And it discusses how living a soft life is about making mindful decisions to create a more balanced, joyful, and fulfilling existence. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-soft-life I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    52 mins
  • Midlife Stories: Making Meaningful Connections with Adam Cranfield

    Midlife Stories: Making Meaningful Connections with Adam Cranfield
    Oct 15 2024
    Adam Cranfield is typical of many midlife men in that he’s gone through most of the life events that society expects of a 48 year old man, such as marriage, children and jobs, but not without a growing sense of unease. Not least of this is the way that creating and maintaining meaningful connections has become much more of a challenge than it should be. This week Paul and Adam discuss the stereotypical male focus on needing an activity to bond, and why men struggle to organise and sustain deep relationships compared to women, who are generally better at maintaining social networks. Adam also talks about his own view of the workplace and about how workplace pressures and societal expectations can lead men to feel disconnected from their true selves, and about his role as a father in guiding his children to be more open. And he shares his experiences with therapy, both the benefits in navigating depression but also the drawbacks compared to the mutual support found in friendships. The conversation highlights the differences in how men and women form connections and the potential for men to learn from women’s openness and social dynamics. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-midlife-stories-adam-cranfield I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    55 mins
  • Tackling Men's Mental Health

    Tackling Men's Mental Health
    Oct 9 2024
    Poor mental health among men is a common and complex issue. It has many causes and, arguably, a serious lack of positive practical action to solve. But things are starting to change, albeit slowly, and there are some calling for society to support men's mental health more effectively. One such person is Katie Goodrum, founder of men’s underwear brand And Then. This week Paul talks to Katie about her mission, inspired by her partner's struggle during a long divorce, to encourage men to become the best versions of themselves and to break the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. The show explores the unique challenges men face, such as the pressure to conform to outdated stereotypes, the lack of support during crises, and the societal expectation to suppress emotions. It also discusses the struggles of modern parenthood and how to raise boys to be emotionally open and empathetic, despite the pressures to appear ‘tough.’ And it unpacks the importance of creating spaces for men to communicate and the need for society to normalise discussions around mental health. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-mens-mental-health I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    40 mins
  • The Cost of People Pleasing

    The Cost of People Pleasing
    Oct 2 2024
    Many midlife men have a problem with saying ‘yes’. In that they do it all the time out of habit, regardless of what’s best for them. They want to be seen as supportive in their professional or their family life and, though it comes from a good place, they end up overcommitting and never saying ‘no’ to anyone or anything. Over time, this ‘people pleasing’ behaviour of consistently valuing others above yourself creates a disconnect between a man’s values and his actions that lowers his self-esteem and damages his mental health. This week Paul explores people pleasing with Daniel Glyde, a coach who works with men on bettering themselves. They discuss how people pleasing can stem from a deep-rooted sense of not being enough, and how setting appropriate boundaries can have a hugely positive impact on a man’s mindset. The key to correcting people pleasing behaviour likely lies in building self-trust and taking a pause before responding to requests to ensure choices are based on personal priorities rather than obligations. Aligning actions with values leads to a healthier, more fulfilled life and improves overall life satisfaction. You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-people-pleasing I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com
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    49 mins