Showing results by narrator "Mathew Horne" in All Categories

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt.

On Sunday, February 3rd 1990, seven-year-old Danny Redpath disappeared from his home. Four months later, his body was found in the nearby forest, washed clean of all evidence. Over time, more bodies were discovered; more families devastated forever. Apprehended while attempting to abduct another child, Jonathan Egan-Walsh was charged with the murders of thirteen boys. Convicted on all counts, he received life in prison and went unrepentant, still refusing to reveal the whereabouts of one of his victims, Zachery Marshall.

When Stuart is made redundant from his post as an advisor at Rayleigh Job Centre, he finds it hard to let go. Losing his job is tough enough, but worse than that is losing his chance of finally forging a relationship with his colleague, senior job seeker Nicola, who he's been yearning for ever since their one-night stand seven years ago. Queuing up to sign on, he finds himself reunited with his old school mates Joe and Terry, who he thought he outgrew years ago. They're delighted to have him back in their gang and are soon far too busy to find a job.

A mysterious stage magician has set up in the theatre at the end of the pier, with an act so hypnotic and strange that Herbie Lemon and his friend, Violet Parma, suspect dark forces are at work. Meanwhile, folk are disappearing from Eerie-on-Sea, and no one knows why. There is an Eerie legend that goes back to the dawn of time, about a creature made of darkness that devours the shadows of the living. But could the Shadowghast really have returned?

Adrian Mole is middle-aged but still scribbling. Working as a bookseller and living in Leicester's Rat Wharf; finding time to write letters of advice to Tim Henman and Tony Blair; locked in mortal combat with a vicious swan called Gielgud; measuring his expanding bald spot; and trying to win-over the voluptuous Daisy.... Adrian yearns for a better more meaningful world. But he's not ready to surrender his pen yet.

So how do I greet the New Millennium? In despair. I'm a single parent, I live with my mother...I have a bald spot the size of a jaffa cake on the back of my head...I can't go on like this, drifting into early middle-age. I need a Life Plan....

In these ten witty, dark and disturbing episodes some of Britain’s best comedians come together to perform simultaneously hilarious and unsettling stories that will have you gripped. Sticky situations on ski slopes, placating an unruly ghost, a boy stuck at the bottom of well and an unusual adventure weekend with romantic overtones - are just some of the scenarios from comedy writers Mark Maier and Daniel Maier (a long term collaborator of Charlie Brooker and Harry Hill).

A man is found dead in the judge's chair inside the Great Hall of Oakham Castle, beaten to death with a ceremonial horseshoe. As Rutland Police investigate, they discover the victim was a charitable, public-spirited man who only ever wanted to help others. So who wanted to kill him so brutally? And why? DI Caroline Hills and DS Dexter Antoine are left disoriented and dejected. But the discovery of a shadowy and mysterious figure leads them onto a trail of deep corruption—one that will take them far from Rutland. And it seems their victim wasn't quite the man he made himself out to be.

An elderly woman collapses and dies during a Sunday morning church service in Oakham. But things aren't quite as innocent as they seem. Within hours, there's a second unexplained death in Rutland. Then a third. But the victims appear to be completely unconnected. With the body count rising by the day, DI Caroline Hills and DS Dexter Antoine need to uncover the link before more innocent people die. Only one thing is certain: a killer walks the streets of Rutland. But no-one knows who the next victim will be, when they will be killed—or why.