Humorous Horror

By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He's more than just a mechanic, he's a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, selkies, ghosts, and . . . gnomes? Is that gnome . . . naked? (Sigh.) Season One collects the first four novellas in the Spells, Salt, & Steel series: Spells, Salt, & Steel; Open Season; Deep Trouble; and Close Encounters.

Sally has recently left an unfulfilling job to volunteer at a living history museum, where she is assigned to the Death House. Every day, she dons Victorian mourning garb and describes traditional funeral services to tourists. It sounds depressing as hell, but for Sally, it’s less depressing than her tepid marriage to her childhood sweetheart. This becomes all too clear when she accidentally travels through time and space to a liminal world where the ghosts of the living history museum haunt its grounds. There, she meets and falls hard for Victorian-era pretty boy Nathaniel.

Lucy likes to tell monster stories. She's told so many that her friends and family are sick of it. Then one day, Lucy discovers a real, live monster: the librarian in charge of the summer reading program. Too bad Lucy's told so many monster tall tales.

At long last, all of Bridget Sway's dreams are about to come true! She is in a department store. Shopping. Yes. Shopping! She has new makeup. New shoes. And, most importantly, is finally about to get some new underwear. But, instead of finding a frilly knicker and bra set, she finds the body of a dead medium. A familiar dead medium.

In a perfect world where everyone destroys everything and eats human flesh, one zombie has had enough: Buck Burger. When he rebels at the natural disorder, his marriage starts deteriorating and a doctor prescribes him an anti-depressant. Buck meets a beautiful green-haired pharmacist fairy named Fairy_26 and quickly becomes a pawn in a cold war between zombies and supernatural creatures.

Life is hard. Change is difficult. But adjusting to being a ghost? Well, that is just darn near impossible. And Bridget Sway is struggling. It's not just the job, the uniform, the housemates, the rules, the community service. It's everything. And now she's facing a week-long group assessment to evaluate her adjustment.As if that isn't bad enough, some inconsiderate soul has shoved another dead ghost in her locker. Things are looking bleak for Bridget. If she fails the assessment, she'll be "re-educated."

Between her regular job in Afterlife Arrivals, training for her second job with IA, her community service on The Bus of Death, GA meetings, taking care of her housemates, and every other ghostly commitment in between, Bridget Sway is already stretched pretty thin. Then, her best friend, Sabrina, drops a bombshell. Sabrina thinks she was murdered. And, in the afterlife, murdered dead people usually turn into homicidal maniac dead people. Despite that, Sabrina thinks if they can work out who killed her, then she might be able to get the closure she needs.

A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world's worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they've got it. Want in? All you've got to do is accept ocular implants that let the whole world see life through your eyes, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fortunately, there's still one person who hasn't lost faith in all humanity. The show's ever-smiling host is determined to wring some tiny bit of meaning out of this twisted competition and your unhappy existence.

For the first time in a beautiful new edition, this omnibus will collect together the original official novelizations of both Ghostbusters 1 and 2.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Beak-a-boo, it sees you! Cooper Klavan and his sister Anna are fishing with their parents at a woodland pond when they come across an injured bird. Anna, a huge animal lover, insists on taking it home to rehabilitate. But the bird really does not want to be rescued. It bites Anna, and scares Cooper. Soon, Anna is behaving very strangely. She's perching high up in trees, gathering sticks to hide in her room, and refusing to eat eggs-- once one of her favorite foods. Cooper doesn't want to jump to any conclusions, but his sister seems to be going to the birds.

Devin and his sister Violet are visiting their Uncle Jack in an old house by the seashore. Jack was a sailor and he has collected strange and fascinating items from the sea. Exploring a back room, Devin and Violet discover a locked trunk. A pirate's chest. They manage to get it open - and see that it's filled with antique jack-in-the-boxes. Huh? Up pops a very ugly, mean-looking puppet, an old pirate with a dirty red bandana over his long greasy hair. "Thanks for letting Sailor Jack out!" he rasps. Will Jack return them to their uncle? Just how much is a pirate's promise worth?

Livvy and Jayden are the stars of their school's robotics team. Livvy is especially enthusiastic because her own mother works in a robotics lab and experiments with artificial intelligence. To impress her mom, Livvy and Jayden build a robot. Livvy wants to name their robot "Francine", but Jayden thinks that's too silly for their creation. Desperate to win, Livvy and Jayden "borrow" an artificial intelligence module. They soon realize they've made a terrible mistake. Francine has too much brain power. She's alive! And using this newly gained brain power to dream up a deadly contest!

Having successfully stolen half the souls of Fairhaven out from under her rival's pretentious undead nose, Maud must now find homes for all her new pets, but the living are much noisier than the dead. As if that wasn't vexing enough, the self-appointed lich king has just unleashed a zombie plague on the land, threatening both Maud's patience and her wool supply.

Blue McKenna is dead—it isn't pretty. Her innards are strewn all over the bridge in front of Juniper Hollow, but she still can't make it to the white light. Blue's spirit is trapped in a nightmare scenario involving the Department of Motor Vehicles. Evidently, the DMV is as terrible in death as it is in life. Too bad the only one who can rescue Blue is a snarky cat named Skitters. And he hates her guts. All of them. Scottie Sphincter, lead singer of the Rectal Surgeons, can't move on, either. Why does Scottie keep getting ghosted by women like Blue?

Es gibt keine Vampire. Umso ärgerlicher, wenn sie dann in Manchester auftauchen. Wirklich niemand freut sich darüber. Nicht die magischen Wesen, die es tatsächlich gibt, und schon gar nicht die Menschen in Manchester. Denn nichts ist ärgerlicher, als von ausgedachten Monstern um die Ecke gebracht zu werden. Zum Glück gibt es die Mitarbeiter der Stranger Times. Allerdings haben die schon genug zu tun. Hannah hat gerade eine chaotische Scheidung hinter sich und findet heraus, dass jemand versucht, eine Kollegin zu entführen.

Evil has arrived in the capital...and she's looking to go shopping. After a startling vision and an uninvited visit from a rival lich, Maud sets off for the city to prepare for war. Leaving a trail of deboned corpses in her wake, this simple country lich solves a few murders, commits a few more, and discovers along the way that some things are worth dying for. Again. Maud’s heart may have stopped beating long ago, but she is determined to live her new "life" to the fullest. Featuring necrotic crafting, neurotic knitting, two naughty crows, and one very haunted castle.

Es gibt keine Vampire. Umso ärgerlicher, wenn sie dann in Manchester auftauchen. Wirklich niemand freut sich darüber. Nicht die magischen Wesen, die es tatsächlich gibt, und schon gar nicht die Menschen in Manchester. Denn nichts ist ärgerlicher, als von ausgedachten Monstern um die Ecke gebracht zu werden. Zum Glück gibt es die Mitarbeiter der Stranger Times. Allerdings haben die schon genug zu tun. Hannah hat gerade eine chaotische Scheidung hinter sich und findet heraus, dass jemand versucht, eine Kollegin zu entführen.

December 1874. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are looking forward to a traditional Christmas with plenty of food, alcohol, and the odd duel. But then Death meets Elizabeth, a young girl with unusual gifts, who needs their protection. When other children start going missing throughout London and the Prime Minister himself asks for their help, they have to put down the brandy and mince pies to solve the mystery while—as usual—saving the world from an unspeakable horror.

Brian, an aimless slacker, works doubles at his shift job, forgets to clean his room and lays about with his friends Nik and Darby. He's been struggling to manage his transition to adulthood almost as much as his monthly transitions to a werewolf. Really, he is not great at the whole werewolf thing, and his recent murderous slip-ups have caught the attention of Tyler, a Millennial were-mentor determined to take the mythological world by storm.